Looking through the past entries on this blog made me realise 1 thing. Its lacking in insightful posts, posts that encompasses my personal views on issues that the average person deals with in life. Things I have to deal with. Mostly its just what has been happenining day in day out. I have no qualms about being mainstream but somehow it leaves a sense of dissatisfaction that my blog appears almost bimbo/himbo like...even xiaxue whom some may deem bimbo actually tackles personal attacks on her with such zest. No doubts her online persona and Girls out Loud performance are on the extreme ends of the bimbo spectrum but still she is a full time blogger that makes $ from doing that and it lead to her being a "celebrity". So maybe I should do future entries in this format. 1st part will contain the all to familiar outings and such and the 2nd part will be more or less a peek into my cerebral abyss.

Would like to Wish my readers a Happy and Prosperous New Year. So its a little late but CNY stretches for 15 days and its the year of the golden pig. I am born in the year of the pig and thus am 24 years old this year. The CNY holidays has been damn busy and tiring for me. Lots of visiting this year which of course equals to a nice sum collected from "ang baos" CNY starts on a Sunday and the public holiday lasted till Tuesday, 3 days of holidays is shiok but it just means that I have been running up and down Singapore for 3 days. Places visited during the 3 days = Tanah Merah, Telok Kurau, 6th Ave, Hillview, Sengkang, Pasir Ris, Tampines and Simei this Saturday. Every year CNY loses its festive atmosphere, every year it feels more and more like a chore to me. I'm so looking forward to the day when I can actually look forward to CNY holidays as a period to actually do what I want to do, travel, slack at home or even go to the great outdoors. Visiting will be on the last thing on my mind. Haha I guess the one thing I'll miss is the gambling la. Damn it this year has dealt me a losing streak no matter what form of gambling I partake or where I play them. Decided to take a self declared off from school yesterday. Watched Epic Movie at The Cathay. For those of you who haven't watched the movie all I can say "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Its such an epic movie that if you missed it you may regret it. Headed down to Timbre for drinks and of course to catch the performance of E.I.C after supper at macs after the movie. So glad they played Snow Patrol's Run!

A little while back I did a top 10 things you did not know about me list and I have decided to touch on one of them. Its something that I feel has been going on for awhile and I think that feeling has overstayed its welcome. I would like to emphasize the fact that I don't have high expectations of people close to me. The closer to me the less I expect. People whom I have told this fact to actually seem pretty puzzled as to why it works the other way around for me. Usually people tend to have higher expectations of those close to them and lower expectations from people not so close to them. Imagine this analogy if you will...A Ballon filled with the right amount of air will appear firm/bouncy and safe from the fact that it won't just burst. I am like a Ballon (body shape as well). I prefer to have lesser amount of air in me because 1stly if there was a pressure exerting itself on the exterior, there will be some lee way for the ballon to expand in another area but if the ballon is filled with too much air, you'll start to see the rubber stretch and the colour appears thinner continue blowing in more air and it will burst, add too much pressure on the exterior and it will "pop" as well. Air inside the ballon relates to the level of expectation I allow myself to entrust on someone. More air more expectations. The exterior pressure relates to the times when you get let down and disappointed by the people around you. So if I was to have more expectations of others I would be a really big, stretched out ballon and 1 time of disappointment will forever damage but if I was just like a flail ballon, I would not burst so easily. The downside to all this is I may appear nonchalent, uncaring or even insensitive to people but you only get what you give right? I don't believe in a 1 sided relationship, what is the point of pouring everything in only to risk getting "popped" but unfortunately the human emotions don't work in an ideal way. So the best way I protect myself is to expect little and in return give little in terms of emotions. Many times I'm glad I have this practice because I have been proven time and time again that the people closest to you are the ones that will screw you over whether they intend or not. Not too mention I get extremely annoyed when people expect more from me than what I expect from them...fortunately when I get high on alcohol I feel sleepy and not loud and obnoxious if not I'd vomit out everything they did in the past to screw me and weigh it infront of their faces which will definately be the sucker punch to end the friendship but like I said its a good thing I keep such things to myself very well and there is no way in heaven and hell that the wrong-doers will ever hear it from me. I treasure relationships thats why I do what I have to do cause I don't think I'd be able to recover once I burst.

Sadly my actions don't reflect what I feel but thats is a risk I am willing to take, I rather be misunderstood than be hurt beyond redemption...

Have a great day guys!